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How to Beat
the Survival Game and Achieve Self Actualization
by Thomas Digges
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Using Maslow's hierarchy of needs the author offers suggestions on how to get past survival needs and achieve self actualization.
I don't know about you, but I spent a lot of years struggling to find a way to make time for self actualization. It always seemed like survival issues got in the way and stole all the energy I needed to achieve my higher needs and goals. I call this syndrome...
Maslow's hierarchy Blues
There were other symptoms too. My relationships suffered because of stress and low energy. I could barely even find time to learn or study let alone contemplate or meditate. Possibly it was made a little more difficult by the fact that I had 6 children and because of that my wife couldn't work much. I also never went to college before starting a family. With all this working against me how could I achieve self actualization?
My story is a glaring example of what Abraham Maslow, eminent psychologist and researcher, found when he interviewed people who were self - actualized. He developed the theory that people have a hierarchy of needs. When a need isn't met on a lower level, it's much more difficult or even impossible for them to evolve to more mature or self actualized states.
Whether or not the theory of a "hierarchy" of needs holds true, it seems to be a universal experience that some needs are more basic than others and when they are not met adequately they stifle personal growth. Self actualization must stand on a foundation that is more or less stable.
The basic needs are a healthy body, security and satisfying relationships. To the extent that we are not able to adequately meet these needs, we are doomed to a treadmill existence. We are trapped in a system that requires all of our available energy to meet basic needs and none is left for self actualization.
In order to beat this system consider approaching your basic need acquisition in a way we call Optimal Living. Put simply, Optimal Living principles help you achieve the most with the least amount of energy. For great resources on each of the subjects below see the Authors box at the end of the article. Now let's take a look at these basic physiological needs.
Take care of your body
We obviously need to breathe, drink, eat, sleep and stay warm enough and avoid illness. It would be difficult to put our attention anywhere else if we didn't have these things in place. These needs can be met in a minimal (not enough) or extravagant (too much) way. There is also the optimal way.
Consider joining a natural food Co-Op where you can buy wholesome food at a huge discount at the same time you will meet like minded friends. This will help you meet your relational needs. When you do it right you will have a body that will carry you through to the highest level of human actualization and give you many years of enjoyment instead of pain.
A roof over your head.
Another physiological need is to have shelter. You can solve your shelter needs in a lot of ways, some of them painfully expensive. If you want to do this with the least amount of wasted life energy, try Co-housing. This is where a group of people are getting together to lower the costs of housing in many creative ways. You get to maintain your freedom, but live well at the lowest possible cost. Why do you need a lawn tractor in every garage when you can share one? The possibilities are endless. There are organizations set up to assist you in finding the right solution. Try looking up "Co-housing" or "alternative lifestyle" on the Internet.
Stabilize your financial position.
Security and Safety is the next level of needs to be met. When your body is OK and you have adequate shelter, you'll be able to turn your attention to this. How can we create income and financial stability in an optimal way?
A steady income is paramount and is important if you want to meet any of the other needs of being a human. Face it, income or money is the medium of exchange in our society and around the world. If we can't resolve this need, we remain stuck in many ways. The only alternative is to drop out of society by joining a commune or monastery. I don't recommend either. I feel that the loss of personal freedom would hamper my ability to meet the higher needs that exist. There is also the issue of autonomy which is seriously challenged in these living situations. So how to develop a steady income that doesn't steal all your energy and time? Plus how can we avoid the treadmill of 9 to 5 suburban - barely making it - stressed out existence?
In our effort to obtain financial security we can't give up the ship of our moral compass. That creates inner conflict. Nor can we throw out the baby with the bathwater. Finding a right livelihood that creates income and complements our values is a rare gem. Fortunately, the Internet is making things possible that couldn't even be dreamed of before the computer / information age. Explore these possibilities.
Affiliate Programs - are web based businesses that allow you to join up and promote a product or service for a commission. You can easily find a program that resonates with you no matter what your interests are. If you want to sell vitamins and organic foods, you got it. If you want to help people overcome their issues, build better relationships etc. you got it. Another important factor to consider is, don't put all your eggs in one basket. Work on creating multiple self perpetuating streams of income.
Build healthy relationships
This could prove to be the most difficult objective in your quest for self actualization. Relationships have a tendency to press all of our buttons sooner or later. Knowing what to do with the raw emotions that can arise in relationships can make or break you. Why do you think the divorce rate is way above 50%? The dating breakup statistics are even worse. Even getting along with our children or parents or siblings is a serious challenge. All of this potential conflict can seriously sap your energy and time.
Relationships are complex. On one hand they meet a basic need of the individual. On the other hand they provide a continual challenge that either catalyzes our personal growth or triggers our issues and causes alienation and emotional pain. Negotiating the perilous waters of relationship is much safer and more rewarding if we get some genuine quality assistance and guidelines. Don't leave it to chance, there is plenty of great relationship help on the internet.
Join supportive groups.
Find a group that you can feel comfortable and relate to. The main criteria to look for is their "inclusivity" quotient. Make sure the group you give your life energy to is not excluding or marginalizing any other groups or people. The degree to which they accept and appreciate all forms of truth and expression is the degree to which you will be able to grow with them and express yourself freely.
Obviously this would not be a fundamentalist "We are the only way" type group. Think about what type of activities you enjoy, your lifestyle and what you would like to experience. Find a group or groups that compliment your criteria at the same time give you opportunity to stretch or challenge yourself. Lots of groups can be found on the Internet, or in our resource pages.
Optimal Living guarantees maximum "lift off" from the gravitational pull of the basic physiological needs. By optimal living I mean that you create a situation that guarantees that these needs are met in an automatic way. If not automatic, the idea is to obtain what you need with the least amount of energy necessary. Energy is the commodity of transformation. Without it you stand still. Gather it, conserve it and use it wisely, and you create the optimal conditions for real lasting growth.
With the right strategy and by paying attention to the hierarchy of needs, you can make your way to self actualization a much more pleasant journey. You will be covering all the bases so you will experience less surprises and setbacks. By sewing the right seeds, you will also have the energy you need. For a great list of resources on fulfilling all these human needs in an optimal way, see our resource site below.
Go to the Optimal Living Resources site http://gfnproject.com/optimal_living_resources.htm
Thomas S Digges is a Life Coach and author. See his articles: http://gfnproject.com/ArticlesMain.htm
Article Source: http://www.upublish.info
Copyright of the article belongs to the author.
This article appears on SensitiveNLPCoach.com, the coaching website of Morris Berg.
For more details of coaching by Morris Berg see the various sections of this website www.sensitivenlpcoach.com
email Morris at hspcoach@gmail.com
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