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From Gremlin to Angel an article by Morris Berg
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The Gremlin is a name given by Rick Carson and others to the negative stream of consciousness in our heads that manifests as the voice of worry and the voice of self-criticism and self-doubt. The Gremlin may also communicate with you through feelings, especially those tensions in the gut and butterflies in the stomach. If you believe the Gremlin, you are always no good and nothing will ever be right. Fortunately, most people, most of the time, shrug off their Gremlins and get on with life.
You can do a lot of therapy tracing the origins of the Gremlin's different messages: your parents or guardians, your teachers, the bullies at your school, your first boss who called you an idiot, your ex.
If you want to get more esoteric, perhaps your Gremlin stems from things said to your mother when you were in the womb, things you overheard as a child that nobody thought you would understand, or even a previous incarnation.
The Gremlin will pop up in coaching as it is part of your life. When you want to change, the Gremlin gets agitated because it doesn't like change - it might not have anything to complain about any longer! In fact, having a Gremlin is probably part of the reason you want to have a coach. Part of the coach's job is to act as a sort of bouncer to make sure your Gremlin does not get in the way of your life.
So, how do we do some Gremlin-busting? Here is a four-point plan for keeping your Gremlin on a tight leash:
1. Make yourself strong and centred.
Deep breathing, relaxation techniques, self-hypnosis, meditation, positive affirmations, visualisation and anything that gets you in touch with your centre and your spirituality will keep the Gremlin at bay.
If you really need to stop the Gremlin right now, tell it forcefully to SHUT UP or even SHUT THE F*** UP! Remember that you, and not the Gremlin, are the boss. Therapists call that technique "thought stopping", probably because saying you've been practising thought stopping sounds better than saying you've been talking to the voice in your head.
Reframing means changing the meaning of a thought or memory - usually from negative to neutral or positive. There are various ways of doing this. A favourite NLP technique is to play around with the Gremlin voice - make it say the usual things it says but with the voice of Donald Duck or Mickey Mouse, and coming from your big toe instead of your head. Imagine it singing its message like Michael Jackson. You'll never take it seriously again. That works great on internalised parental voices.
There are other ways of reframing the Gremlin. The Gremlin is stuck in the past which is why it doesn't like change. It is reacting to the present using old tapes and stale messages. It doesn't know that you have grown past those old experiences and gained wisdom, just as your parents, when they brought you up, never knew what you would be like now. So with the help of an NLP practitioner or coach who uses suitable techniques, you can get in touch with the Gremlin and find out what its original purpose was. Its purpose was probably to keep you safe in some way, albeit doing so rather clumsily and not knowing it's upsetting you.
This works particularly well on the "sleeping Gremlin" - the one who doesn't use negative talk but just waits until you are about to do something positive and then sabotages it so that you say or do the wrong thing.
When the Gremlin's purpose is clear, it can be asked to find some better ways to look after you, that don't cause any upset. When this happens, the Gremlin is agreeing to act like a guardian angel instead, and to look out for you without the nagging.
Emotional Freedom Techniques (founded by Gary Craig) and similar methods such as Emotional Freedom Reiki (founded by Stephanie Brail) use affirmations together with the power of body's subtle energy system to boost our self-esteem and our positive energy in the face of problems or negativity. So to tackle a Gremlin voice you might affirm, "Even though I have negative and self-critical thoughts, I fully and deeply love and accept myself". Such a statement is made at the beginning of an EFT session. Tapping with the fingers on certain meridian points (acupuncture points) is used to enhance the flow of positive energy that has been blocked by the negative thoughts or emotions. When the whole session is completed, you will feel that the Gremlin's nuisance value has gone down from, say, 8 out of 10 to 2 out of 10. Now it is something you can easily ignore and you can get on with your life. For more about these "energy techniques" see the energy coaching page on this site.
Have you ever been with someone who has made a mistake and who says to him- or herself "Naughty!" or "I'm stupid!" or "How silly of me"? That is not adult self-talk! Those are clearly messages originally heard as a child! I suspect that such messages are uttered more by low achievers than high achievers. The cumulative effect of such "bad" self-parenting can take its toll. What you hear the person saying out loud can be the tip of the iceberg.
We all have a childlike part of us that wants to be loved and that wants to play and have fun. When we are stressed, that part is ignored more than ever, and we send ourselves even more negative messages. Self-parenting is failing.
An important ingredient of equilibrium and recovery from stress is fun and joy. Do things that make you laugh without needing alcohol to loosen your tension. Listen to your favourite music, do something creative, engage in some activity or sport for the sake of play or fun instead of competition. Play with your children or your pets. Have a favourite treat that you enjoyed as a child. Tell your inner child that he or she is appreciated and loved and that he or she is clever and good. Use affirmations for the inner child.
Self-parenting not only means being a good parent to your inner child. One way of self-parenting is to contact positive parental images or archetypes - powerful figures or metaphors in your mind or imagination that let you get in touch with feelings of acceptance, strength and love. In New Age circles today there is tremendous interest in contacting angels and other higher beings. I think that part of the reason for this trend is that such guidance figures give the inner child much longed-for unconditional love. I personally believe that spiritual guides exist and they can take many forms according to our culture and beliefs. Traditional religions, for those who practice them, provide prayers and rituals to experience a closer sense of contact with the Divine. Therapists, some coaches, and some shamanic counsellors can offer different types of guided visualisation, dialogue or guided inner journey that can allow your inner child to contact guiding and healing figures.
Many of us have entered adulthood with our confidence still shaken by childhood messages or events, and some of us have encountered unfortunate and traumatic events as adults. Self-parenting in some form is part of realising that we are whole, and transforming our Gremlins into angels.
And ultimately, who is the real angel? You are. If nobody ever called you an angel before, listen carefully. You are an angel. You are a spark of the Divine, of Source, or whatever term you prefer to use. You are a child of the Universe. Your worth as a human being is based upon that fact and not your job, your everyday life or what people think of you.
P.S. - Please remember that coaching is for people with average garden-gnome-variety Gremlins. If yours is so present that it is seriously interfering with your life, then counselling or psychotherapy is indicated.
For more details of coaching by Morris Berg see the various sections of this website www.sensitivenlpcoach.com
This article is copyright © Morris Berg 2008 and must not be reproduced on-line, in print or by any other means without permission in writing.
email Morris at hspcoach@gmail.com
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