Spirituality can be one of the most
confusing themes in personal growth and self-development,
because there are so many ways in which the concept is
understood. In addition, there are many people who believe
that only their own "spirituality" is correct, that other
views of spirituality are wrong or ignorant, or that their
brand of spirituality is the only one needed because it
includes all other spiritualities. There may be prejudices
against certain types of spirituality.
Spirituality for many people is nothing to
do with religion.
People interested in spirituality, whatever
they mean by the word, are just as diverse as everyone else:
some are laid-back and open to change; some are dogmatic and
rigid and controlling; some are continually seeking and
becoming interested in one form of spirituality after
another. They may be of any personality type. Their
spirituality might be well integrated with their lives, or
parts of their lives might appear to be in complete contrast
with their own – or your – spiritual outlook. They may be
religious, atheist, agnostic or secular. They may believe in
some form of continuity of "spirit" or "soul" after death,
they may believe that death is the end, or they may show no
interest whatsoever in speculating about an afterlife.
It is therefore very important to know that
a coach and client are talking about the same thing when
talking about spirituality. If a coach is more broad-minded
than the client, the coach may be prepared to work with
clients whose spirituality is markedly different. Sometimes,
however, if one party does not understand or dislikes the
spirituality of the other, working together might be
impossible.
If you use coaching tools such as the "Wheel
of Life" that include a section for spirituality, it is
again important to know what that means for the client.
Simple questions such as "when do you experience yourself to
be most spiritual?" or "give me an example of when you were
in touch with your spirituality" will help to reveal what
spirituality means to the client.
If you regard yourself as spiritual, it is
important for you to be able to explain what you mean
by that, and to know that some people will not regard you as
really spiritual unless you conform to their point of
view!
Here we would like to give list of some
possible approaches to spirituality that you will find. Many
of them are overlapping.
Spirituality related to intuition – that could include some
form of extrasensory or psychic knowing, sensing or
perceiving. Where extrasensory perception is well-developed
or naturally present to a high degree, faculties such as
mediumship, channelling or the ability to "see" information
about other people may be present. The ability to dowse or
to perform psychic healing also relates to this category.
Spirituality related to essence – spirituality meaning being
who you are, expressing your inner self or full potential,
doing what you really want to do and what you enjoy,
including hobbies or pastimes.
Spirituality related to connecting to other people – family,
love, society, community.
Spirituality relating to being part of something bigger – a
wholeness, an interconnectedness, "the field", a holographic
universe.
Spirituality relating to connecting to nature. Today this
will usually include an interest in ecology, being "green",
etc.
Spirituality relating to sport and physical activity –
competitive sports, running, jogging, mountaineering,
martial arts.
Spirituality relating to a connection with the Source or All
That Is, however that is felt or whatever metaphors are
used.
Spirituality related to understanding the world or the
universe through intellect, mathematics and science.
Spirituality related to the arts and creativity –
appreciation of the arts, poetry, music, fine art,
literature. Creating works of art, music or literature.
Spirituality related to quiet meditation and contemplation.
Spirituality related to ritual and celebration – rituals
marking rites of passage, or markers of spiritual
attainment/ initiations, or seasonal celebrations,
festivals, cycles, fasts and special days.
Spirituality related to the practice of and belief in
organised religion – whether one of the major faiths
(Christianity, Hinduism, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism) or one of
the many smaller or lesser-known religions or sects. Such
people can have the opinion that only their religion
contains true spirituality, or that all spirituality is
"really" contained within their religion and there is no
need to look elsewhere.
Spirituality related to "losing" or "transcending" the ego –
people with such views tend to feel that the ego gets in the
way of spirituality, and define the ego in negative ways.
Spirituality related to a search for enlightenment – another
word that is hard to define and has many views and
approaches! Such people will probably be seeking a guru
rather than a coach. Enlightenment has very much to do with
transcending the ego, yet many people boast of their
progress towards enlightenment in a very egoic way – some
gurus appear to have the biggest egos of all, and are
extremely controlling and intolerant people! Gurus probably
don’t want coaches, but coaching a guru will probably be a
waste of time!
Spirituality related to the view that everything is
spiritual because its essence contains part of the Source –
there are many forms of this idea which also occurs in
various forms of mysticism and in shamanism.
Spirituality related to personal growth and
self-development, which can take many forms, including some
of the spiritualities we are describing, and including
coaching. In the realm of counselling and psychotherapy,
there are more spiritually-inspired forms of therapy such as
psychosynthesis, and there is a branch of psychology called
transpersonal psychology which focuses on experiences beyond
the ordinary ego. In hypnotherapy there are various forms of
transpersonal hypnotherapy which can include past life
regression and/or elements of Buddhist or Hindu philosophy.
There are several psychotherapies based upon Eastern
spiritual outlooks.
Spirituality related to a New Age outlook – the New Age
comprises many different paths, philosophies and practices,
and just knowing a person is interested in "New Age" ideas
does not mean very much unless you know more about their
specific interests, beliefs and practices. Forget about
stereotypes of eating brown rice, swinging crystal pendulums
and wearing sandals. The New Age trend is supposed to have
started in the late 1960's. However, decades before, some
people in the US, the UK and many other countries were
experimenting with alternative spiritualities and forming
groups and movements based upon various revelations,
channellings, spiritual practices, Eastern imports or forms
of mysticism.
Spirituality related to being intuitive or psychic, or
appreciating others who are intuitive or psychic. This may
include belief in communication with spirits, channelling,
etc. Sometimes the person has a clear inner relationship
with one or more guiding figures that can be tapped in
coaching by asking the person to address specific questions
to their inner guide. Inner guides often do not give advice
or answers unless asked specific questions, and you can help
by being good at asking the right questions even though you
may not be intuitive or psychic yourself. Remember that free
will operates and that clients should be encouraged to check
out whether the ideas they get from inner guides, just like
ideas from any other source, are sound and realistic.
Spirituality related to altered states of consciousness,
including meditation, hypnosis, self-hypnosis, guided
visualisation, "journeys" into other forms of consciousness,
exploring dreams, and so on.
Spirituality related to symbols and metaphor. This may
involve an interest in Jungian archetypes, or other systems
of symbolism such as the Tarot, or an interest in mythology
especially the concept of the Hero’s Journey as a metaphor
for life’s path and the growth of the self through various
stages of maturity. One key archetype is the Self, our
deeper and wiser essence which is beyond our everyday ego or
persona.
Spirituality involving belief in or alleged contact with
non-human entities such as channelled entities or aliens.
Just as contact with spirit guides or other inner guides, it
is the quality of the information received that matters. Is
it uplifting and does it help the person to live a more
fulfilled life, or is it negative, apocalyptic or paranoid?
If it seems to be the latter, coaching will probably not be
advisable.
Spirituality related to evangelism – some people believe or
feel that it is their duty to convert others to their
religious or spiritual viewpoint, whether Christian or not,
and they will try to convert their coach. Firm boundaries
need to be set.
Spirituality related to esoteric movements such as
Rosicrucianism, Freemasonry, or other Western Esoteric
traditions, or to metaphysical philosophies.
Spirituality related to paganism, which might be Wicca,
Traditional Witchcraft, Druidism, or some other form of
paganism. Pagans may belong to a group or sect or they may
be solitary believers and/or practitioners.
Spirituality related to using or practising complementary or
alternative medicine or forms of healing, especially those
involving some concept of "energy" or "chi".
Spirituality related to a holistic outlook. Holism
(sometimes spelled wholism) is itself a word that often
means what the user wants it to mean, creating more
confusion. However, there is a book called "SOULution: The
Holistic Manifesto" by William Bloom (Hay House, 2005) which
sets forward holism as an eclectic, non-dogmatic and diverse
spirituality for today. Bloom says "This new approach to
spirituality integrates and transcends the usual polarity of
religion versus atheism". Bloom’s book is an essential read
for coaches working with spirituality. The book contains a
list – 365 Prompts for a Holistic Lifestyle – which can be
used as a coaching tool.
The above list is not exhaustive – let me
know if I have missed any other important categories!
As well as "spirituality", another often
misunderstood word is "spiritualism". It has two very
different meanings. Spiritualism can be a word used
sometimes in philosophy or in religion to refer to a
spiritual outlook, in other words a synonym of spirituality,
with the same problems of deciding exactly what it means
according to who is using it and in what context.
Spiritualism (with a capital S) is also a religion that
holds as its central principles a belief in life after death
and in the ability of certain persons (usually called
mediums) to communicate with the dead - thought many people
hold those beliefs without calling themselves Spiritualists
- just to confuse you! Some people who use the word
"spiritualism" in a philosophical or religious sense have no
idea that the religion called Spiritualism exists, and vice
versa.
Another common word related to spirituality
is "soul" (sometimes called "spirit"). Here again, this
means different things to different people. Traditionally,
"soul" means a part of us that is non-physical, and that
goes into a different state of being after death. However,
not many people know that Freud, who was an atheist, used
the term "soul" to refer to our innermost essence or being.
This got lost in English translation where all references to
"soul" were removed and replaced with "mind". Freud’s use of
"soul" is probably one influence on the use of the terms
"spirit" and "spirituality" in a non-religious and secular
sense.
So, if someone says to you, "I am a spiritual person" -
ask what he or she means if you want to understand that
person better! And if you believe you are spiritual
and someone else tells you that you are not because you
don't do or think as they do - remember that we have
different spiritualities, and you have the right to your
own.
email Morris at hspcoach@gmail.com
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