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What is NLP?
NLP (Neurolinguistic
programming) is a form of practical psychology that began in
America in the 1970s out of a collaboration between linguist
John Grinder and psychologist Richard Bandler. The two
experts studied the communication skills of a few of the
best therapists, and found certain patterns that could be
taught to others. That process is called "modelling" (we all
did it as babies when we learned to behave like human beings
from our mums and dads - so we are all natural modellers.)
Recently, "NLPers" - folk who do NLP - modelled what
coaches do. And NLP coaching was born. Actually, NLPers
found that coaching has a lot in common with NLP so the two
disciplines are very compatible. That's not surprising, because NLP is
about positive change, and so is coaching.
NLP is not in itself a therapy -
it's a constantly
developing set of skills and practical knowledge about how
the mind works that is used by many counsellors,
psychotherapists, hypnotherapists, teachers, business people, coaches
and those interested in self-development.
NLP provides ways of building
rapport with people, understanding and working with
emotions, changing the meaning of experience, discovering
our values, dispelling negative beliefs, challenging
unhelpful thoughts, resolving inner conflicts, and accessing
positive feelings. It also helps us understand the
differences in styles of thinking and doing things between one person and
another.
Often a NLPer will lead a client
through a particular technique, exercise or process to
achieve a particular result. A lot of the time, the NLP
knowledge and skills are brought into the language the
practitioner uses, and so can be part of professional
conversations. NLPers, like coaches, have "powerful
questions" they can ask, and models of how to guide a
client, depending on what the client wants.
NLP has been used for phobias,
anxiety, improving performance, instilling confidence,
changing habits, helping people to learn, improving social
skills, motivation, decision making, assertiveness, time
management, creativity, goal planning and many other issues.
What is NLP coaching?
The core of NLP coaching
consists of knowing how goals, beliefs and values work
together. Easy-to-follow techniques are used that are
adapted to take account of each person's individuality. NLP
techniques are rapid and NLP is very practical and
reality-oriented: if something isn't working, do something
else. Qualified NLP practitioners will have a wider
repertoire of exercises.
When talking to a client about
any situation, NLP provides questioning skills that allow a
client to focus quickly on improving clarity of thought,
identifying mental obstacles, and getting insights into
personal motivations and values that will direct what the
person wishes to achieve.
Can NLP be offered over the
phone or email?
NLP is offered over the
telephone and Skype and for most issues it can work as well
as traditional, face-to-face NLP. It is best if you have a
hands-free headset. NLP is normally built into my standard
coaching plans. Sessions
should preferably be 60 minutes or longer to allow various
processes to be used. Longer intensive sessions can be
arranged to work on difficult issues.
NLP by email and chat (Internet
messaging) is more restricted because there aren't the cues
that can be picked up when talking, and many exercises work
by having the coach talk the client through each step.
However, if coaching mostly by email is the most convenient
thing for the client, a lot of questioning, clarifying,
decision-making, planning and general coaching can be done
by email/chat and less frequent phone sessions can be
arranged. Worksheets can be issued for certain exercises,
and CDs for self-help NLP can be recommended. For more
about working by phone and Skype
click here.
What is the relationship between NLP and hypnotherapy?
There is an idea in NLP that all
learning occurs at the unconscious level. Think of learning to
drive: you learn consciously, paying attention, yet you are only
really a driver when the skills have become embedded in the
unconscious mind so you can control the car without thinking and
concentrate on the road.
The unconscious mind is recognised
in NLP as the source of all your positive qualities - especially
the ones that are dormant, forgotten or unused and the ones you
don't think you have! Of course it's also where a lot of
automatic negative thoughts and self-limiting beliefs reside.
The unconscious mind is also in
charge of a lot of our communication, especially non-verbal
signs and the sort of language we habitually use including
metaphors for ourselves and our ideas that show how we think
about ourselves and the world.
In order to access positive inner
resources, or to access patterns of self-limiting thought so we
can change them, we need some way of going inside ourselves - in
other words you focus on what's inside your head and in your
feelings and not on what's out there in front of you. Any time
you do that, you are doing something that, in NLP theory, is
"trance". Trance is not being asleep - it is when you are "more
awake to yourself". You do it when you daydream, and also
when you worry. You do it when you do positive visualisations,
when you meditate, when you imagine something good happening, or
when you rehearse a sports skill in your head. There are also
common forms of trance in our everyday lives, when our attention
is not focused inwards but focused narrowly on something out
there such as watching TV or being immersed in a computer game.
So, from the viewpoint of NLP, much
of any psychological or inner work on yourself takes place in
"trance", and we go into trance naturally many times a day. This
trance does not feel any different from our normal feelings - it
is a normal feeling.
Some of the linguistic skills (ways
of talking) used in NLP stem from the work of the great
hypnotherapist, Dr Milton Erickson. Erickson was one of the
therapists originally studied by Bandler and Grinder when
developing NLP. Bandler and Grinder found that Erickson's way of
talking to clients contained valuable patterns useful for any
counsellor or therapist. Now coaches study those patterns too.
Hypnotherapy is a structured
approach to using our natural ability to access trance for
positive purposes. Hypnotherapists will usually guide people
into trance, offer positive suggestions, therapeutic talk,
or have a therapy dialogue with the client, and then guide
people back into the fully conscious state. With
self-hypnosis, people use recorded sessions or guide
themselves when they've learned how. If people did not have
trance as part of their natural behaviour, hypnotherapy
would be impossible! Many hypnotherapists learn NLP
and many NLPers learn hypnotherapy, because the two go
together well. NLP exercises, and many other mental
exercises, are said to work better when formal hypnosis is
used. For more about hypnosis, see the
hypnotic coaching
page.
However, NLP coaching takes
place in an eyes-open, non-hypnotised state, unless the
coach is a hypnotherapist and you agree to have hypnosis. In
NLP coaching, you and the coach will talk, and the coach
might ask you to do specific mental or imaginative exercises
to get in touch with how you think or feel.
Is
NLP coaching different from other coaching?
Every coach has his/her own
style, and good coaches usually integrate knowledge from
different fields that have contributed to coaching. More and
more coaching trainings are including some of the most
useful NLP skills. However a person who calls him/herself an
NLP coach (as opposed to a coach who has learned some NLP)
is usually certificated as a Practitioner or Master
Practitioner of NLP, and is likely to bring more advanced NLP
techniques and skills into coaching. NLP coaches may also
have a separate certification as an NLP coach.