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Sensitive NLP Coach - nlp coaching (neurolinguistic programming)
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What is NLP?
NLP (Neurolinguistic programming) is a form of practical psychology that began in America in the 1970s out of a collaboration between linguist John Grinder and psychologist Richard Bandler. The two experts studied the communication skills of a few of the best therapists, and found certain patterns that could be taught to others. That process is called "modelling" (we all did it as babies when we learned to behave like human beings from our mums and dads - so we are all natural modellers.) Recently, "NLPers" - folk who do NLP - modelled what coaches do. And NLP coaching was born. Actually, NLPers found that coaching has a lot in common with NLP so the two disciplines are very compatible. That's not surprising, because NLP is about positive change, and so is coaching.
NLP is not in itself a therapy - it's a constantly developing set of skills and practical knowledge about how the mind works that is used by many counsellors, psychotherapists, hypnotherapists, teachers, business people, coaches and those interested in self-development.
NLP provides ways of building rapport with people, understanding and working with emotions, changing the meaning of experience, discovering our values, dispelling negative beliefs, challenging unhelpful thoughts, resolving inner conflicts, and accessing positive feelings. It also helps us understand the differences in styles of thinking and doing things between one person and another.
Often a NLPer will lead a client through a particular technique, exercise or process to achieve a particular result. A lot of the time, the NLP knowledge and skills are brought into the language the practitioner uses, and so can be part of professional conversations. NLPers, like coaches, have "powerful questions" they can ask, and models of how to guide a client, depending on what the client wants.
NLP has been used for phobias, anxiety, improving performance, instilling confidence, changing habits, helping people to learn, improving social skills, motivation, decision making, assertiveness, time management, creativity, goal planning and many other issues.
The core of NLP coaching consists of knowing how goals, beliefs and values work together. Easy-to-follow techniques are used that are adapted to take account of each person's individuality. NLP techniques are rapid and NLP is very practical and reality-oriented: if something isn't working, do something else. Qualified NLP practitioners will have a wider repertoire of exercises.
When talking to a client about any situation, NLP provides questioning skills that allow a client to focus quickly on improving clarity of thought, identifying mental obstacles, and getting insights into personal motivations and values that will direct what the person wishes to achieve.
NLP is offered over the telephone and Skype and for most issues it can work as well as traditional, face-to-face NLP. It is best if you have a hands-free headset. NLP is normally built into my standard coaching plans. Sessions should preferably be 60 minutes or longer to allow various processes to be used. Longer intensive sessions can be arranged to work on difficult issues.
NLP by email and chat (Internet messaging) is more restricted because there aren't the cues that can be picked up when talking, and many exercises work by having the coach talk the client through each step. However, if coaching mostly by email is the most convenient thing for the client, a lot of questioning, clarifying, decision-making, planning and general coaching can be done by email/chat and less frequent phone sessions can be arranged. Worksheets can be issued for certain exercises, and CDs for self-help NLP can be recommended. For more about working by phone and Skype click here.
There is an idea in NLP that all learning occurs at the unconscious level. Think of learning to drive: you learn consciously, paying attention, yet you are only really a driver when the skills have become embedded in the unconscious mind so you can control the car without thinking and concentrate on the road.
The unconscious mind is recognised in NLP as the source of all your positive qualities - especially the ones that are dormant, forgotten or unused and the ones you don't think you have! Of course it's also where a lot of automatic negative thoughts and self-limiting beliefs reside.
The unconscious mind is also in charge of a lot of our communication, especially non-verbal signs and the sort of language we habitually use including metaphors for ourselves and our ideas that show how we think about ourselves and the world.
In order to access positive inner resources, or to access patterns of self-limiting thought so we can change them, we need some way of going inside ourselves - in other words you focus on what's inside your head and in your feelings and not on what's out there in front of you. Any time you do that, you are doing something that, in NLP theory, is "trance". Trance is not being asleep - it is when you are "more awake to yourself". You do it when you daydream, and also when you worry. You do it when you do positive visualisations, when you meditate, when you imagine something good happening, or when you rehearse a sports skill in your head. There are also common forms of trance in our everyday lives, when our attention is not focused inwards but focused narrowly on something out there such as watching TV or being immersed in a computer game.
So, from the viewpoint of NLP, much of any psychological or inner work on yourself takes place in "trance", and we go into trance naturally many times a day. This trance does not feel any different from our normal feelings - it is a normal feeling.
Some of the linguistic skills (ways of talking) used in NLP stem from the work of the great hypnotherapist, Dr Milton Erickson. Erickson was one of the therapists originally studied by Bandler and Grinder when developing NLP. Bandler and Grinder found that Erickson's way of talking to clients contained valuable patterns useful for any counsellor or therapist. Now coaches study those patterns too.
Hypnotherapy is a structured approach to using our natural ability to access trance for positive purposes. Hypnotherapists will usually guide people into trance, offer positive suggestions, therapeutic talk, or have a therapy dialogue with the client, and then guide people back into the fully conscious state. With self-hypnosis, people use recorded sessions or guide themselves when they've learned how. If people did not have trance as part of their natural behaviour, hypnotherapy would be impossible! Many hypnotherapists learn NLP and many NLPers learn hypnotherapy, because the two go together well. NLP exercises, and many other mental exercises, are said to work better when formal hypnosis is used. For more about hypnosis, see the hypnotic coaching page.
However, NLP coaching takes place in an eyes-open, non-hypnotised state, unless the coach is a hypnotherapist and you agree to have hypnosis. In NLP coaching, you and the coach will talk, and the coach might ask you to do specific mental or imaginative exercises to get in touch with how you think or feel.
Every coach has his/her own style, and good coaches usually integrate knowledge from different fields that have contributed to coaching. More and more coaching trainings are including some of the most useful NLP skills. However a person who calls him/herself an NLP coach (as opposed to a coach who has learned some NLP) is usually certificated as a Practitioner or Master Practitioner of NLP, and is likely to bring more advanced NLP techniques and skills into coaching. NLP coaches may also have a separate certification as an NLP coach.
This page is copyright © Morris Berg 2009 and must not be reproduced without permission in writing.
email Morris at hspcoach@gmail.com
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